.Simply Me.

I would never admit this to anyone but myself: that your presence calms me and excites me at the same time. That when you grab my hand I get tingles and get butterflies knotted in my stomach. That when you laugh, I find myself smiling. My secret that will never find light because once it does, it will be shunned and rejected.

A favor done for you is a bit of my time gone wasted and unacknowledged.

It’s very strange. I’ve come to enjoy solitude. As a freshmen, I couldn’t even think about being alone somewhere by myself with my only company being my thoughts. I felt that if I ever went anywhere, I had to be surrounded by friends. I still do like to talk to my friends and socialize with other humans, so I’m not too sure if its the fact that I’ve realized nobodyreallycares or the fact that if I’m by myself I’d have to face less gossip and negativity….either way, I’m really beginning to like sitting by myself in the library working or wandering about looking for a new book to read.

I honestly have no idea what is happening in my life anymore. I’m pretty sure, that somewhere deep down inside of me, I love torturing myself to the point where I have lack of sleep every night, daydream and dream about quizzes and tests, and just sit up for hours reading my textbook.

Yes. I say this because I was crazy enough to sign for 4 AP classes while simutaneously doubling up in science and taking an optional math class which is probably how my schedule for my junior year is going to look like.

T^T

Honestly, i’m done. There’s a reason why every social media site out there requires a person to put a password; its to respect and protect a person’s privacy. I’ve told you every single thing that happens in my life, and i really don’t expect you to do much but respect my privacy and stop reading my messages.

Do you ever feel like someone doesn’t want to be friends with you anymore? They don’t have to say anything, you just know. They talk to other people more than you, take hours to reply to your texts instead of minutes, constantly make plans with other people and hardly ask you to hang out. All along you know it isn’t gonna end well but you still have that sliver of hope. And that one day, they ignore you completely. And you know, you finally have to accept, you were right.

(Source: bbodyrock)

If you send out goodness from yourself, or if you share that which is happy or good within you, it will all come back to you multiplied ten thousand times. In the kingdom of love there is no competition; there is no possessiveness or control. The more love you give away, the more love you will have.”
― John O’Donohue, Anam Cara: A Book of Celtic Wisdom